fredag 9. september 2016

I do Art Journaling to cope with a serious illness

Hello and welcome! I am so glad you stoped by.

I am seriously sick. I've been sick since early 2014. Yep, I have long just ignored it and suppressed it, but now I have finally taken the inward me, I think....  I suffer from something called Myalgic Encephalomyelitis aka M.E. If you don't know what M.E.  is you can Google it, but in brief I suffer from fatigue (extreme energy failure), flu-like illness, sore throat, problems with memory, concentration, headaches, sleep disturbances, temperature regulation disorders with night sweats and low fever and chills, abnormal body temperature, blood pressure and heart rhythm disturbances, hypersensitivity to light, sound, smell and touch, muscle and joint pain and muscle spasms and stomach/intestinal disorders. There are pr. currently no cure or recognized treatment beyond learning coping techniques pacing and energy conservation, but luckily there are many good scientists who are researching this mysterious disease continuously. So the hope is that one day there will be both an explanation of why I'll get this disease, as well as a medicine effective against the enormous pain and energy failure. I use very strong painkillers daily to endure the pain.

I chose to be honest that I have this disease so that people around me don't think that I am very weird if I fall out of a conversation or stumbling when I go, or just not remember any words, or say no to parties and social events. I am neither drunk or crazy, I'm seriously ill. This is me, this is my world, and I have to try to live with it.

To be able to endure the grief of losing my life, losing friends, losing trips on the mountain, losing my job as a paralegal, losing opportunities to take things on the fly, lose the ability to dance wildly, well, losing everything I took for granted before I get sick I do Art Journaling etc. that's my therapy. I can not lie in bed or on the couch day after day and feel sorry for myself, so I spends my days making art.

This weekend I attended a cours in the craft store Bikuben in Lillestrøm with the one and only Dyan Reaveley. She is the reason I began with art journaling in the first place, and it was absolutely wonderful to meet her. I love her art and her designs. On the course I met some "old friends" and I was lucky enought to also  related new friendships, who has the same passion as me :-)
And thing like that, art course and passion for art, and meeting people and make art is just what is needed to keep out, apart from my husband, my children and grandchildren of course, they are my greatest joy and spark of life ♥

On the course we learned many techniques and color combinations and not least we got to play plenty on our own. To be able to be on a course a whole weekend I was forced to rest much in advance of the course, I rested also in the hotel room from the afternoon until the next morning every day and now that I'm home again, I must rest a lot to be able to be a little bit with my three-year old daughter in the afternoons. No wonder I paint! I try to paint the pain away, both physically and mentally.

Sometimes when I tell about my disease, it may be family or friends or colleagues, I get so-called good advice on what to eat and what not to eat, what to drink and not to drink, even what to think and not think. Please, I know you mean well, but I'm getting sad. Because, trust me I've tried everything to get well. Everything! My highest wish is to get well. And just as you know it; You can NOT  recover from a physical illness by thinking. Scientists have finally now these days found discrepancies in the blood of ME patients, wich will prove the fact that ME is a physical  disease and not a mental illness - as many - even doctors have claimed for å long time.
A small sigh from me...
This was suddenly a very long post...

Here is some of the art I've made in the course this weekend. Not all is finish, but that is what art is all about. It's not the final result that's the joy, it's the journey.

This is the front cover of my Art Journal

Here I've got the signature from Dyan in my Art Journal:

Me and Dyan:

Some of my Art Journal pages made in the course with Dyan Reaveley. As you see there is a lot that's not finish, but I will enjoy myself finishing them bit by bit.





Thank you so much for taking your time to read my story and my thoughts! I very much appretiate it. My wish is that M.E. should be a little more known and respected as a serious illness.

Please leave me a comment below if you feel to it.

I wish you all a very nice weekend. Take care of yourself and each other. Life is fragile

Hugs, Anita

9 kommentarer:

  1. Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving such kind comments. I read your blog post with interest and so sorry to hear about your serious illness but it has taught me more about it and I thank you for that x What a wonderful opportunity you had crafting with Dyan x Gorgeous art journals and I thank you once again x

  2. So understand what you are going through! I've got fibromyalgia which has similar symptoms. I think sometimes if I looked I'll it would be easier, at least people would understand that. So called 'invisible' diseases are so difficult for people to understand as you look fine on the outside. They don't get the struggle that goes on inside. I found being creative is a great help to.
    gentle hugs,
    Dawn xx

    1. It's meant to say 'ill' not I'll, predictive text is bane of my life!

    2. Thank you so much for taking Your time and read my post, Dawn. I know exactly how you feel with fibromyalgia since I have a lot of pain my self. Sometimes it is almost impossible to endure. I would rather have a jack foot so that everyone could see that I was sick and I both got understanding and sympathy. As you I look fine on the outside and no one thinks that I'm sick.
      I'm glad you will also find help and comfort in creativity!
      Hugs, Anita ♥

  3. Dear Anita, sitting here in the car, reading your post, in tears. I've come to know during our time on the same DT and I am so very sorry to hear of your burden so late. I have always been a great admirer of your art and I think now I can also understand it a lot bette.

    Take good care, my dear friend 💙

    1. Oh thank you so much dear Majo. I was very touched when I read your nice words. I'll be fine just I'm good to rest and take breaks and not do anything.
      I hope you are fine, Majo.
      Hugs, Anita ♥

  4. Hei Anita! I am very sorry that you are suffering from this mysterious and awful illness, and I certainly hope they WILL find a cure soon!! Even if I've know for some time that you have M.E., I didn't know exactly how terrible it can be! I think it's great that you are so open about it and explaining to us how living with M.E. is for you. I know so well how it is to suffer from an illness that can't be seen on the outside, and I can also relate to the grief you are taking about, the grief of losing one's normal life and everything most people around us take for granted. There are so many myths about M.E. and those who say it's "just" a mental illness are very ignorant. The world need more people like you who can explain what M.E. does to a person, so it will be more known and respected as the serious illness it actually is.
    It's great that you can use your creativity and art journalling to cope, as a form of therapy. I'm so happy for you that you had the opportunity to meet Dyan and attend some of her classes! Even if it was exchausting for you, it sounds like you had a fun weekend and by the looks of it, you made a LOT of cool pages!! I'm very grateful to have you on my Design Team, and I am impressed that you are so createive and productive, in spite of all the problems you have with that damn M.E.! Hang in there, girl!! They will find a cure ...they have to!!
    Thank you so much for sharing, darling. BIG hug! ♥

    1. Thank you so much my dear friend! Had it not been for you, your stamps and your blog I do not know what I should have done.I need to do something and being appreciated for what I do and that I get through creativity and through the blog. Everyone needs to be appreciated.
      I'm not doing anything else during the days then be creative. Sometimes I make dinner, but most often I can not do it, because of my illnes.
      So, thank you again for beeing my lifesaver, Bibi! ♥
      Big hugs, Anita ♥


Thank you so much for taking your time to leave me a comment! Hugses and hugses and warm wishes ♥