Hello and welcome! I am so glad you stoped by.
I am seriously sick. I've been sick since early 2014. Yep, I have long just ignored it and suppressed it, but now I have finally taken the inward me, I think.... I suffer from something called Myalgic Encephalomyelitis aka M.E. If you don't know what M.E. is you can Google it, but in brief I suffer from fatigue (extreme energy failure), flu-like illness, sore throat, problems with memory, concentration, headaches, sleep disturbances, temperature regulation disorders with night sweats and low fever and chills, abnormal body temperature, blood pressure and heart rhythm disturbances, hypersensitivity to light, sound, smell and touch, muscle and joint pain and muscle spasms and stomach/intestinal disorders. There are pr. currently no cure or recognized treatment beyond learning coping techniques pacing and energy conservation, but luckily there are many good scientists who are researching this mysterious disease continuously. So the hope is that one day there will be both an explanation of why I'll get this disease, as well as a medicine effective against the enormous pain and energy failure. I use very strong painkillers daily to endure the pain.
I chose to be honest that I have this disease so that people around me don't think that I am very weird if I fall out of a conversation or stumbling when I go, or just not remember any words, or say no to parties and social events. I am neither drunk or crazy, I'm seriously ill. This is me, this is my world, and I have to try to live with it.
To be able to endure the grief of losing my life, losing friends, losing trips on the mountain, losing my job as a paralegal, losing opportunities to take things on the fly, lose the ability to dance wildly, well, losing everything I took for granted before I get sick I do Art Journaling etc. that's my therapy. I can not lie in bed or on the couch day after day and feel sorry for myself, so I spends my days making art.
This weekend I attended a cours in the craft store Bikuben in Lillestrøm with the one and only Dyan Reaveley. She is the reason I began with art journaling in the first place, and it was absolutely wonderful to meet her. I love her art and her designs. On the course I met some "old friends" and I was lucky enought to also related new friendships, who has the same passion as me :-)
And thing like that, art course and passion for art, and meeting people and make art is just what is needed to keep out, apart from my husband, my children and grandchildren of course, they are my greatest joy and spark of life ♥
On the course we learned many techniques and color combinations and not least we got to play plenty on our own. To be able to be on a course a whole weekend I was forced to rest much in advance of the course, I rested also in the hotel room from the afternoon until the next morning every day and now that I'm home again, I must rest a lot to be able to be a little bit with my three-year old daughter in the afternoons. No wonder I paint! I try to paint the pain away, both physically and mentally.
Sometimes when I tell about my disease, it may be family or friends or colleagues, I get so-called good advice on what to eat and what not to eat, what to drink and not to drink, even what to think and not think. Please, I know you mean well, but I'm getting sad. Because, trust me I've tried everything to get well. Everything! My highest wish is to get well. And just as you know it; You can NOT recover from a physical illness by thinking. Scientists have finally now these days found discrepancies in the blood of ME patients, wich will prove the fact that ME is a physical disease and not a mental illness - as many - even doctors have claimed for å long time.
A small sigh from me...
This was suddenly a very long post...
Here is some of the art I've made in the course this weekend. Not all is finish, but that is what art is all about. It's not the final result that's the joy, it's the journey.
This is the front cover of my Art Journal
Here I've got the signature from Dyan in my Art Journal:
Me and Dyan:
Some of my Art Journal pages made in the course with Dyan Reaveley. As you see there is a lot that's not finish, but I will enjoy myself finishing them bit by bit.
Thank you so much for taking your time to read my story and my thoughts! I very much appretiate it. My wish is that M.E. should be a little more known and respected as a serious illness.
Please leave me a comment below if you feel to it.
I wish you all a very nice weekend. Take care of yourself and each other. Life is fragile ♥
Hugs, Anita
♥